Entrusting an elderly parent, a dependent relative or your own home to a carer or a domestic helper is an act of complete trust. In the vast majority of cases the relationship works. But when the first doubts appear, for example bruises that nobody can explain, an elderly person who is suddenly afraid, valuables that go missing or a carer who comes between them and the family, the question becomes urgent: how do you find out whether a carer is abusing or stealing from an elderly person?
This guide explains which signs not to ignore, what can be checked lawfully (cameras included), how abuse, theft and fraud are documented and when it is worth relying on an authorised private investigator together with your own lawyer.
The signs that should raise the alarm
No single clue proves anything, but some patterns repeat. It deserves attention when the elderly or assisted person shows:
- Recurring physical signs: bruises, abrasions, reddened wrists or signs of restraint, pressure sores, sudden weight loss, dehydration, neglected hygiene, dirty clothes.
- Changes in behaviour: fear of or refusal to be left alone with the carer, new agitation or apathy, excessive drowsiness (which may suggest medication given without a prescription), confused accounts that are then retracted.
- Isolation: phone calls that drop, visits obstructed (“she is resting”, “it is not a good time”), the carer who always answers in place of the person being assisted or who advises against involving other relatives.
- Inconsistent therapies: medicines that run out sooner than expected or that are not being taken, missed medical appointments, the carer who opposes visits from the family doctor.
On the financial side the warning signs are different: missing cash and jewellery, insistent requests for loans or gifts, unexplained expenses, documents that disappear, an elderly person who suddenly talks about donations, wills or putting assets in the name of the carer or of people close to her.
Abuse, theft, undue influence: which crimes may be involved
Knowing the legal classification helps to understand what needs to be proved:
- Abuse (art. 572 c.p.): habitual physical or psychological violence, but also serious neglect, towards a person entrusted for reasons of care or assistance. It is a crime prosecutable ex officio and as a rule requires the repetition of the behaviour: a single episode is hardly enough.
- Theft and misappropriation: taking money, jewellery or objects (art. 624 c.p.), with the aggravating circumstances provided for when the act is committed by abusing a working relationship or cohabitation (art. 625 c.p.).
- Undue influence over incapable persons (art. 643 c.p.): taking advantage of the psychological deficiency or infirmity of an elderly person to induce them to carry out acts that harm them, such as donations, joint ownership, sales or changes to a will.
- Abandonment of incapable persons (art. 591 c.p.): leaving alone and without care someone who is unable to look after themselves.
Cameras at home: what you can and cannot do
Video recording is the solution everyone thinks of first, and it is also the one where most mistakes are made. Some fixed points, to be always checked with your own lawyer:
- installing cameras in a home where domestic staff work must be assessed case by case, in light of the limits of art. 4 of the Workers' Statute (Statuto dei Lavoratori), of the GDPR (EU Regulation 2016/679) and of the guidance of the Data Protection Authority (Garante per la protezione dei dati personali);
- recordings must be proportionate: never in bathrooms or in the room where the carer rests or sleeps, where privacy is at its highest (and where unlawful interference in private life, art. 615-bis c.p., is a crime);
- surveillance should generally be disclosed (notice and sign), because hidden recordings expose those who make them to challenges and risk being unusable or backfiring on the family;
- ambient audio recordings are even more delicate than images and must not be improvised;
- footage must be kept intact, with date and time, without editing: the value of the evidence depends on its integrity and provenance.
An effective and less risky alternative is professional observation in the field, carried out by an authorised investigator in compliance with the rules.
What a private investigator can do to document the facts
An agency holding a prefectural licence under art. 134 TULPS, commissioned by the family and in coordination with the lawyer, carries out investigations into domestic helpers and carers with a precise method:
- Observation and field checks: actual times of arrival and departure, outings with the person being assisted, acquaintances, meetings with third parties, behaviour in public places, consistency between what is declared and what actually happens.
- Checking the shortfalls: starting from inventories, photographs and documentation provided by the family, to understand whether an item has gone missing, when, and whether the explanations given hold up.
- Checking of statements and previous employment through open sources and public registers, in compliance with the GDPR.
- Reconstruction of relationships with third parties: in cases of suspected undue influence, which people gravitate around the elderly person and whether there is pressure for financial transactions, as we explain in our investigations into mental manipulation and scams.
- Technical report with dated photo and video findings, a chronology of events and a distinction between proven elements and mere clues, usable by the lawyer for the criminal complaint, dismissal or compensation.
If the proceedings are criminal, the defence counsel can appoint the agency within the framework of defence investigations under art. 327-bis c.p.p., with documentation suitable for the defence counsel's file.
A word of honesty: a private investigator cannot access the bank or tax data of third parties or the databases of the Police Forces, and cannot replace the authorities in case of danger. Their contribution is to gather, lawfully, factual elements that allow the family and the lawyer to decide.
After the evidence: dismissal, complaint, compensation
The elements gathered serve three paths, which often proceed together:
- Dismissal for just cause: the collective agreement for domestic work allows the relationship to be ended without notice in the presence of serious facts; however, the allegation must rest on solid evidence and on a correct reconstruction of the facts.
- Criminal complaint or report for abuse, theft, undue influence or abandonment, with the support of the lawyer.
- Civil action for compensation for the pecuniary and non-pecuniary damage suffered by the person assisted and by the family.
In cases where interests in an inheritance or suspicious acts of disposal emerge behind the carer, a closer look at the assets and the succession may also be needed, as described in the investigations into inheritance and succession.
How to reduce the risk before hiring
- A proper contract under the CCNL for domestic work, with INPS contributions: it reduces the risk of disputes and gives the family clear tools.
- Verifiable references: actually call the previous families and do not stop at the names given by the candidate or the intermediary.
- Trial period with relatives present and unannounced visits, at different times.
- Inventory of jewellery and valuables, with photographs, and keeping documents and cash in a safe.
- Open relationship with the person being assisted: frequent visits and regular phone calls, also speaking with the elderly person alone.
Frequently asked questions
How can I tell whether a carer is abusing an elderly person?
From physical signs (bruises, injuries, weight loss, poor hygiene), from changes in behaviour (fear, drowsiness, apathy) and from isolation from relatives. A medical report and the documentation gathered by a professional are the most useful elements before the Authority.
Can I put hidden cameras in the house to check on the carer?
It is risky ground: proportionality, respect for privacy and for employment rules are required, and generally a notice. Before installing any device, consult a lawyer; as an alternative, observation in the field by an authorised investigator is less risky.
How long does it take to gather the evidence?
It depends on the type of suspicion and on how often the behaviour occurs: abuse and theft usually require several days of observation to demonstrate repetition. An initial feasibility assessment clarifies timing and methods; for the cost criteria see the page on how much a private investigator costs.
Can I dismiss the carer immediately if I suspect theft?
Dismissal without notice requires serious and proven facts. With suspicion alone you risk a dispute: it is better to gather the evidence and be assisted by a lawyer or an employment consultant.
Protecting vulnerable relatives in Milan and Lombardy
Arcadia Company operates from its office in Sesto San Giovanni for families and law firms in Milan, North Milan and the whole of Lombardy, with an ISO 9001 certified management system and personnel authorised under art. 134 TULPS. If the danger is immediate call 112; if you have a suspicion to verify, contact us for a confidential assessment.